Monday, April 20, 2009
Persuasive Speeches
Post your persuasive speech critiques here. You should include three strengths and three improvements. Be sure to include in your comments some suggestions on how to strengthen their needed improvements. The comments should include strengths and improvements for the content. Stay away from critiquing the delivery. Let's look at the argument/content details in this blog.
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13 comments:
Alex’s speech was very informative. First of all, he had good pictures and PowerPoint content that backed up his speech (1). Also, Alex strongly supported his three problems with good transitions (2). The problems were clearly explained with good supporting details. He also had a good memorable statement which connected his speech with a well-known issue concerning the Connecticut deficit (3).Alex could improve on his attention getter (1). I felt that his beginning was too wordy and his thesis statement was not clearly stated.This could be improved by keeping only the necessities on his outline and by clearly stating his thesis statement.In addition, Alex failed to establish his credibility in the beginning of his speech (2). A way to fix this would be to post his works cited page on his PowerPoint to show that he has well researched his topic. Another issue that Alex could improve on is correctly citing on his PowerPoint (3). Many of his pictures had incorrect citations in which he inserted a caption. An easy way to improve this is to post the source of the picture – the website – rather than providing a description of the picture. Finally, Alex was missing his benefits section (4). Although he had clearly stated the problem with excessive sports spending and proposed a solution, he failed to present additional benefits. He could improve on this by further researching his topic and maybe by polling sports fans to see what they like and dislike about his solution. This way, he can improve on any negative aspects of his approach and use the aspects that people liked about the solution as his benefits in his speech.
Danielle delivered a strong persuasive speech. Some of her strengths were here outstanding conversational style which kept the class at full attention, her visual aid was well done, and her body language resembled nothing but absolute confidence in the spotlight. Some things that Danielle and Stevie could have done was extend their speech a little more by adding more fact and statistics. They could of had a better closing and wrapped up theit speech with an entertaining statement. They could of also used better transitions shifting from point to point. In all i believe Danielle did a wonderful job presenting her speech and i can't wait for the next one.
I felt Priya's persuasive speech on why cell phone use was negative was a very strong speech. She was very confident about what she was talking about which helped me keep my attention. She gave so many good reasons and examples of why it was a problem. I actually thought to myself about how much I use my cell phone and if I did some of the things she was talking about. Another thing that she did well was telling us the benefits of cutting down cell phone use and explained them clearly to us. There were a few things that she could improve on. She did not have any visual aids and that would have been a big help to the presentation. She also looked down to much which made it look like she was not focusing on the audience. One more thing that needs improvement is that she needed stronger action details. She needed to be stronger on telling the class what they needed to do to help the problem. Overall I thought the speech was very good. I feel she had a very strong effect on the class especially at the end of her speech when she asked everyone to sign an agreement to turn off their phones for a week.
In listening to Alex’s speech on The Salary Cap in Pro Sports, I felt he delivered his speech very naturally. Three strengths that I feel work in Alex’s favor each time he gets up to present is, he has a great conversational tone, he has good eye contact with his audience, and has well thought out and prepared background information on his topic. Even though Alex has many advantages towards his public speaking, three things that I feel he could improve on is, 1- Use better transitions. It seems that Alex runs from one point into another. Possibly if he wrote transition words at the end of each note card, it would help him to remember to use them when going from one point to another. 2- Even though he has good eye contact with the audience, I still find him referring to his note cards and power point to read a lot of information. To help him with this I would suggest just practicing more before presenting so that you are more comfortable with delivering the information. 3- When speaking Alex tries to mention a lot of dates in his speech, yet at times he second guesses his dates or goes back and corrects himself. This tells the audience that he most likely prepared at the last minute. Always be certain on the information that you are giving. If you are not one-hundred percent certain don’t use that piece of information. Another thing I noticed that Alex may do in some of his speeches is side track onto information that people may not know or truly understand what he is talking out. If you want to make a side note he should tie it in with a description of what he is talking about. Lastly, I feel that Alex needs to work on his closing. In his last speech on The Salary Cap in Pro Sports I felt that his ending came suddenly and there was really no clue that he was trying to close up his presentation. Although there are a few things that I feel Alex can work on for next time to make his presentation close to perfect, as I stated earlier I feel he also has good eye contact with his audience, a great relaxed conversational tone and always provides well thought out information to deliver to his audience. Overall, I feel he did a good job with this presentation.
Lisa's speach was very well done. She had a good introduction, had a lot of examples, and it made me laugh. she also made a good eye contact and gave a lot of details. She could have worked on her power point a little more. It had a lack of pictures, other than that she did very well.
I feel that Priya's speech was a very strong speech. She seemed to be very confident in herself & the material that she was presenting to the class. She gave good examples of why cell phone use can be bad, and it really stuck out to me because I am constantly on my phone. Although Priya had no visual aids I feel that the speech was excellant, and she held my attention throughout the whole speech. She did look down a lot at her notecards which she needs to improve on not looking down and keeping good eye contact with the class. Stronger action points would have helped us to be able to take action on thie problem. Other than that I believe she did a good job, and that she connected with everyone in the class.
Lisa and Amanda's speech was very well put together and presented. Lisa had a very good conversational style and kept my attention. She kept very good eye contact with the entire class and did not rely on her note cards or powerpoint for her information, she knew what she was talking about. I think she did a great job with transition words. One thing I noticed about Lisa was that she stayed on one example for a long time. I kind of felt like at one point she was telling a story rather than giving a brief example.
Rebecca's speech on athletes as role models kept me interasted. She had good visuals which kept the class interasted. She also made great eye contact with the class and she spoke loud and clear so we could understand her. On the other hand, Rebecca could of used transitions and had a better introduction. I also noticed that she was leaning on the stand while she was speaking which made it seem like she was not interasted in her own speech. To improve herself for next time Rebecca could use transitions and show more intrest in her topic. She also could try and loosen up and try and feel comfortable talking infront of the class. Other then that, Rebecca did a great job and made a good attempt for her first informative speech.
Rebecca's speech on athletes as role models kept me interasted. She had good visuals which kept the class interasted. She also made great eye contact with the class and she spoke loud and clear so we could understand her. On the other hand, Rebecca could of used transitions and had a better introduction. I also noticed that she was leaning on the stand while she was speaking which made it seem like she was not interasted in her own speech. To improve herself for next time Rebecca could use transitions and show more intrest in her topic. She also could try and loosen up and try and feel comfortable talking infront of the class. Other then that, Rebecca did a great job and made a good attempt for her first informative speech.
Sheryll's speech was very interesting to listen to. Even though she wanted to start over, she went through the speech anyway, which I thought was a good strength of hers. She was very informative about her topic, and had some nice slides to show.
I thought that the beginning was weak, but she picked up once she started talking. The slides were a little backwards, but again, I'm sure it was due to technical difficulties.
All in all, I really enjoyed her speech, and I thought it was really cool of her to continue going on, even though she had messed up a little bit in the beginning.
(Sorry...I forgot my username and password, but this is Anne Roig)
Rebecca Powell speech on Athletes make good role models was delivered quite well. She had 3 strong points and sighted all quotes and photos. she had a strong open as well as close. She made eye contact with the audience and had a strong stance the whole time she spoke. However she did have quite a few uhmms between words. She forgot to include a should in her thesis and an action at the end of her speech. With more practice her speech would have been even better. Over all she gave it great effort.
I chose to critique Priya's persuasive speech on the negative effects of cell phone use. A positive attribute of her persuasive speech was she delivered her speech using Monroe's motivated sequence which sets you up to accomplish your goal of persuading your audience. Another positive attribute of her speech were her verbal citings which she was incredible at delivering and you could tell she drilled them into her memory to come off in a conversational manner. A third positive attribute of Priya's speech were she conveyed strong problems and hit home with the needs. She definitely was able to touch all members of her audience.
The first negative of her speech was she did not have a power point to enhance her speech and emphasize her major points that she wanted to impact her audience. With that said I really have to give her a lot of praise to be able to verbally cite so well.A solution for this is simply to make sure you have a visual aid prepared. Another area I feel could be approved on was her action. She did have one but was not assertive in the deliverence it was more suggestive. A third area where improvement could be made is to limit the use of her hands. They began to be quite distracting.
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