Friday, May 29, 2009
Informative Critique - Day Section
Please post a critique of the student speaker that you were assigned in class today. The critiques should include two parts. First, two strengths and two improvements. Please choose criteria that has some depth to it. Stay away from superficial comments. Second, give the speaker some suggestions to make improvements for the next speech. Be positive and encouraging to each other! I am grading on your ability to be an effective listener and your understanding of what criteria is important in creating an effective and contagious message!
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11 comments:
I am critiquing Ja'lynn's informative speech on her passion for dance done today in class. Some strengths I feel that she possessed were her personal details incorporated for her main points, her opening statement, and her conversational tone. Her personal statements made a very strong connection with the audience and made it much easier to understand the main point she was trying to get across. Her opening statement, which was a picture of an african dancer, made me want to learn more about what her passion was. It caught my attention and was a great idea for an attention getter. Next, her conversational tone made her speech easy to listen to. She has such a nice tone to her voice that all of her points and sub-points came across very clear. Along with her tone, she stood comfortably in front of the class. She did not do anything to distract the audience from what she was talking about. Things that I found could use improvement in Ja'lynn's speech are her transitions, citing out loud, and her eye contact. The transitions in her speech were not clear enough to tell the audience we were moving from one subject to another. Also, citing out loud is also important and letting the audience know where your credibility is coming from. Along with citing out loud, there should be some citing on the powerpoint presentation as well. Eye contact is a must to connect with the audience, and although I felt Ja'lynn was constantly looking up, a little more direct eye contact could have added to the impact of the speech. I think that in order to fix these things Ja'lynn could think of easy transitions to flow the speech from one subject together and she could practice out loud. When practicing out loud, cite your sources. All in all, Ja'lynn did a terrific job with her speech and it is obvious how much hard work went into it!
Joe started his speech with a very creative attention getter by using his saxophone to demonstrate his passion. He definitely pushed the envelope in that sense. Through out his speech, he had a very conversational tone, especially because of the fact that he didn’t even use note cards as an aid. That shows that he was well prepared for his speech. He also managed to remember his sources and incorporated them conversationally into his speech. One improvement Joe could make would be to stand more still. I noticed him moving around a lot, but I would have to say that that was the only factor that drew my attention away from the message. A way to improve this for his next speech would be to try speaking in front of the lectern, that way it will force him to pretty much stay in one area. One more improvement Joe could work on is eye contact. He did look around during his speech, but I felt he didn’t look directly at individual people in the audience. Maybe one way to improve upon this would be to pick a few people in different areas of the room that he is comfortable with and focus on making eye contact with those individuals. This may make it easier to shift his gaze around the room, and make for an even better speech.
I am critiquing Marlee's informative speech on her passion which was to be an elementary school teacher.Marlee's strengths were definitely her attention getter, her power point was well done it had just enough information.She sounded very confident in her voice, she knew what she was talking about without having to look down at her notecards to much. Her conclusion was great. She used personal examples which i liked, especially because it shows that she already is getting the feeling to be an elemntary school teacher by dealing with kids, that to me shows her passion towards teaching younger kids.Marlee had her research well organized with the different important people for her passion, and she knew her facts. The sub points were clear towards her main points.Improvements she can make is she has to make a little more eye contact. I also think she could have smiled a little more to show that elementary school teaching is truly her passion. Also some more citations out loud, the audience would not know where the information came from if you do not tell them yourself.Overall i was impressed with Marlee's speech, i could see that she worked very hard on it and she did a good job for going first in our class.
I am critiquing Lori"s informative speech on her passion for gardening. Lori had an excellent speech she got up there with a good conversational speaking voice and good stants. You can tell that she practice and was ready to present her speech. She had good points and she researched her points very well. Her powerpoint was well cited as well as when she said her research in her speech. In the beginning she looked at her notecards and powerpoint a little to much, but I think she realized this throughout her speech and started making very good eye contact with the audience. Her detail and points were good it made me wanted to start vegatable gardening. Her only flaw throughout her speech was that she really did not seem passinate about her topic she was just stating all the facts, points, and research. Lori needs to smile more and have fun when she is up there she needs to make us want to be passinate about her topic as well. Other than that little flaw I thought Lori's speech was excellent and very well prepared and practiced.
I am critiquing Karen's speech on her passion for nursing. She had well thought out thesis statement and you can see the her passion through out her main points. She did very well on finding the research that she needed to back up her main points as well. Karen also did a good job on quoting everyone that she did the research on. Unfortunately, she didn't site her research in her powerpoint, which is something she may need to work on. Another thing I think Karen needs to work on is, she was too dependant on her note cards. She was hesitant on what she was going to say and next and continued to pause after each thought and re-read the note cards. To the audience it can be distracting and it makes us think that she wasn't prepared as much as she should be. Overall, I think Karen's speech went well and you could tell she was passionate and confident in what she was saying. So if she were to work on those couple things she will be even better during her next speech.
I'm critiquing Sam's informative speech about her passion for sports therapy. I felt that she had a really attention-grabbing opening with the youtube video of the fighter breaking his leg, and I could really understand why she was into it when she told the story from her Junior year.
I think she could work on her conversational tone a little. I felt like her speech was a little choppy and that she wasn't very comfortable up there. I could also see her shifting from one foot to the other from behind the podium.
I think Sam really just needs to practice what she's saying in front of a mirror or someone else. She knows what she's talking about, she just needs to get the whole "fake it until you make it" thing down.
Nicole Lapsley's speech was on her passion for tennis. Overall, she really did a great job in her presenation, but there were some specific strengths and specific weaknesses that could be noticed. A strength that really stuck out to me in her speech was the organization of her slides. It was very easy to follow and made her presentation flow very smoothly. The citations she made aloud, could be recognized on her slides and the information she wrote on her slides was detailed enough to understand, but short enough and to the point for the audience to stay focused and not get confused. Another strength that I noticed in her speech was her consistent use of transitions. Some speakers throw transitions in their speech just because it is neccessary, but they will not sound right at all. It is obvious that Nicole really researched a lot of transtitions so that she could chose the perfect ones to fit into her speech. On the other hand, there were so weaknesses seen as well. One of the major ones that I particurally noticed was the speed of her talking. This was a really distracting factor for me and I am sure for the rest of the audience as well. There was so much good information gathered in her speech, but as soon as she started to speak very quickly, all of that good information was completely masked. Nerves can sometimes cause this to happen, but as long as you become aware of the problem, it should be simple to fix! Another weakness I noticed was that she did not make too much eye contact with the audience. She did occasionally look up, but not frequently enough for the audience to feel the passion that she feels for tennis. Eye contact is a very important factor in relating to your audience and if that is lacking in a presention, the message will be lacking too. Overall, some suggestions that I would give for Nicole for a future speech are to slow down with her speaking, make more eye contact, and keep up the organization!
Danielle Murphy’s speech was incredibly strong. Right off the bat, I could tell she was passionate about her interest in elementary teaching. Danielle made me feel comfortable enough to trust her with my children as their teacher. Her strong points were her quotes, and I really enjoyed the way she ended her speech with something from Abraham Lincoln, since everyone in the class knows who he was. Her speech was powerful and I could feel her enthusiasm. I do think Danielle should work on her eye contact, although sometimes our nerves get the best of us when we are speaking for a crowd. The speaker spoke well and was loud and clear, which made me really interested. Her tone was nice and soft, and very conversational. Her organization was superb, but I do think that she could have used stronger transitions. The only things I would tell the speaker to work on are her transitions and her ability to make eye contact. I truly enjoyed her overall presentation, and loved the powerful quotes and cute pictures on her PowerPoint. Danielle stressed her passion with her words, and I was very focused on her from finish to end.
I am critiquing Avonlea’s speech on her passion for sign language. I thought her opening and closing were very strong. She began her speech with a poem in sign language, which really caught my attention. She then ended her speech with the actual words of the poem. I thought it was nice that she brought the speech full circle and ended where she started. Avonlea was also very knowledgeable about her topic; you could tell that she knew what she was talking about and that she felt very comfortable and confident talking about it. She had a great tone and was very conversational with her audience as she was smiling and laughing during her speech. Although Avonlea’s citing was good though her power point and speech, her quotes were a little long. I think it would have been more effective if they were shorter especially when they were up on the power point for everyone to read. Also her eye contact with the audience was pretty good though the whole speech, but at some points she would get lost looking and talking to the power point screen. Other than that I think Avonlea did a great job on her first speech.
I am critiquing Tim's speech on Muai Thai fighting. I thought Tim had a good speech overall. Tim made it pretty clear at the beginning of our first class that public speaking really made him nervous. I thought Tim did not show that he was nervous when presenting. I thought he did a great job delivering his speech. I do think Tim could have done a better job with making eye contact and not looking at the power point as much. Another thing I noticed was his leaning on the potium during his speech. Tim had alot of good sources and information in his speech. I saw cites on his power point for every picture. Tim's powerpoint was strong overall. He had a lot of interesting information about the physical and mental health benefits of Muai Thai fighting. Tim clearly stated all three of his main points had had back up information for all of them. Tims wrapped up his speech and delivered a memorable quote to the audience nicely. Overall I thought Tim did a good job with his speech and did some hard work and a lot of practicing.
In critiquing Dean, I feel for a first time speech he did very well. His voice was seemed very conversational and the imagery created in the beginning with his hypothetical made for a great attention getter. As I mentioned in class, he really was able to articulate that shark fishing was a passion of his. Dean did however, shift around a little bit which I am sure was attributed to his nerves. Also, He made a lot of eye contact with the powerpoint. The color schematic needed to be improved too. Although the oceanic background was fitting, it was too dark for black text. I think the best way to fix Dean's problems would be to have more time to put it together, but unfortunately we are limited by our five week course. So a quick run through his talking points the morning before may help out a bit. Overall though, great first speech and an excellent job letting your passion come through.
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